Recently, a nikyu from another local dojo joined our dojo.  I won’t go into the reasons why she did the move.  Suffice to say that there were elements of the old dojo that convinced her that she needed to train elsewhere.  As I watch her attempt to adjust to the new community that is our dojo, I can’t help but feel sympathy.  It seems she is struggling really hard to fit in - both in terms of waza and socially.  It reminds me very much of my own attempt to start anew when I moved to Seattle from San Francisco Bay Area four years ago. 

I was a 3rd kyu then.  Two Cranes Aikido, in hindsight, was a good fit for me because at the time, I was really into the teachings of Takeda Shihan.  My ukemi was well suited to the dojo’s energetic waza.  I think that was the key.  I didn’t feel like I had to adjust a whole lot ukemi or waza wise.  Also, and this is also important - I was prepared to start over.  That meant giving up my 3rd kyu if need be and starting over as a white belt.  I had no problem with that since it’s the training that was important, not the rank. 

I think a lot of this nikyu’s difficulty is in her expectations of how she’d fit into the dojo and what she expects to accomplish.  Based on my conversations with her, it seems she expected to be treated like a nikyu, even though she has only trained at the dojo for a few weeks.  I told her that it takes time for Sensei to get an idea of her skill level.  This is particularly so given that the style of her old dojo is vastly different from ours. 

But I can see where’s she coming from.  It’s typical of westerners to expect something like rank to carry over from place to place.  But in the world of aikido, and martial arts in general, that is not always the case.  There are many factors such as whether you’re moving to a dojo that’s in the same organization as your old dojo.  If so, you may very well be able to keep the rank since testing standards are the same.  Ultimately, I think, the decision rests with the Sensei.  And that’s where the assumption you’ll have to start anew comes into play.  It can be tricky to ask to keep your current rank.  There is the etiquette factor - generally, it’s bad form to ask.  There is also, as I mentioned before, the skill factor - is this student up to the dojo’s standard for the rank?  As the student, it is always safe to assume you’ll have to start over.  In fact, if you do ask Sensei about your current rank, it’s a good idea to start off by stating your willingness to be a white belt - not only out of respect for Sensei but also as a way to show your earnestness as a new student.

The other difficulty that I think the nikyu is experiencing is the challenge of fitting in socially.  Our dojo community is fairly close.  We are definitely friendly but sometimes, we are more friendly to each other than to “outsiders” like the nikyu.  I hate to make this comparison but it is very much like high school.  Again, my heart goes out to her.  I hated high school and I hate trying to fit in anywhere socially.  To tell you the truth, given my general unease with social situations, I wonder how I ever fitted into the community in the first place.  Maybe someone at the dojo can tell me.  In any case, I understand what she’s going through.  But the fact that I was able to acclimate myself means that it is possible. 

My advice to this nikyu is to be patient.  Just train.  If there is one constant at any dojo, in any martial art, it is the respect you get by being a good student.  Train often.  Train hard.  Help around the dojo if you have time.  People will see it. Sensei will see it.  All the other stuff - rank, social status, etc - will come in time.  In the end, it is what you learn from the art that’s important.  The color of your belt is just that - a color. 

It’d be a shame if this nikyu quits.  It’ll all work out if she just hang in there.